来源：《今日心理学》
原文刊登日期：2021年1月5日
文本适合做完型填空的选文
The experience of home loss can be different for women and men. If a woman had taken more ownership of the home—perhaps she decorated her children’s bedrooms, maintained family photo albums, and hosted meals for the holidays—the loss may be more poignant. “Women tend to be more focused on the details of child rearing. They can be traumatized when their nest is destroyed,” says Charles Figley, Chair in Disaster Mental Health at Tulane University.
对于男人和女人来说，失去家园的体验是不同的。如果一个女人对家庭的投入更大——也许她装修了孩子们的卧室，保存了家庭相册，并在节日期间举办宴会——那么她的损失可能会更加令人心痛。“女性往往更关注养育孩子的细节。当她们的巢穴被破坏时，她们可能会受到心理创伤，”杜兰大学灾难心理健康系主任查尔斯·菲格利说。
Men are often focused on the need to get a roof over the family’s head and get back to work to provide for them. They may want to “get back to normal” while women may contemplate whether they really can find a new normal in the same place. Women are more likely to talk about their grief and lean on their friends for support. Men, who may feel pressure to be strong and provide for the family, may repress the emotional impact—which can emerge later through physical symptoms such as insomnia or nervous breakdowns.
男人们通常关注的是需要为家人找个住处，然后回去工作养活他们。男性可能想要“回归正常”，而女性可能会思考是否真的能在同样的地方找到新的正常。女性更倾向于谈论自己的悲伤，并依靠朋友的支持。男性可能会感到压力，需要坚强和养家糊口，他们可能会抑制情绪影响，这种影响可能会在随后导致失眠或神经衰弱等身体症状。
These differences manifested in Susan Levin’s experience. Levin recalls feeling upset, impatient, and pessimistic after lost her home while her husband was determined and proactive, jumping on the phone with Federal Emergency Management Agency and the insurance company, handling logistics, and trying to make progress. “I went down and he went up,” Levin recalls. “He was a rock.”
这些差异在苏珊·莱文的经历中得到了体现。莱文回忆说，在失去家园后，她感到沮丧、不耐烦和悲观，而她的丈夫却坚定而积极，与联邦应急管理局和保险公司通电话，处理后勤事务，并努力取得进展。“我往下走，他往上走，”莱文回忆说。“他像石头一样坚强。”
Since a husband and wife may experience and process the loss differently, a wedge can form between them, Figley says. Processing the loss together can solve that problem. “I always encourage people to go to counseling as a couple,” Figley says. “I want them to talk to each other, not me.”
Figley说，由于丈夫和妻子对失去家园的体验和处理方式不同，他们之间可能会形成裂痕。一起处理损失可以解决这个问题。“我总是鼓励人们以夫妻的身份去咨询，”Figley说。“我想让他们彼此交谈，而不是和我交谈。”