来源：《今日心理学》2023年7月号
Maybe in your youth, when a young person asked an unwelcome question about an adult experience, she or he might have been told, “Wait until you’re more grown up, and then we’ll talk about it.” Those days are gone. Now young people have immediate 24\7 access to the internet to satisfy curiosity’s call.
也许在你还是个孩子的时候，当一个孩子问一个关于成人经历的不受欢迎的问题时，她或他可能会被告知，“等你长大了，我们再谈这个。”那些日子已经过去了。现在的孩子可以24小时不间断地访问互联网，以满足他们的好奇心。
Sometimes parents will decide to limit this exposure by monitoring or restricting children’s internet activity, disabling or forbidding the use of devices or of sites where they don’t want a young teenager to go. They may do this to protect their daughter or son from what they consider dangerous exposure to violence, hate, sex, drug use, gambling, adult dating, law-breaking, cults, conspiracy theories, or whatever else they fear.
有时，父母会决定通过监控或限制儿童的互联网活动、禁用电子设备或禁止使用他们不想让孩子访问的或网站来限制这种接触。他们这样做可能是为了保护自己的女儿或儿子免受他们认为危险的暴力、仇恨、性、吸毒、赌博、成人约会、违法、邪教、阴谋论或其他他们害怕的事情的影响。
The internet is an ongoing challenge to traditional parental oversight. Around middle school, when more worldly curiosity often takes wing, discovery now occurs online. Certainly, parents can put restrictions on internet activity consistent with their values and beliefs. At most, however, they have only a measure of local influence since they cannot control a teenager’s access to devices, such as those of their friends, outside the home.
互联网对传统的父母监管构成了持续的挑战。在中学前后，当更多的世俗好奇心飞扬时，发现现在发生在网上。当然，父母可以根据自己的价值观和信仰限制网络活动。然而，他们最多只能局部地产生一定程度的影响，因为他们无法控制青少年在家庭之外使用电子设备，比如孩子朋友的电子设备。
What’s a parent to do? First, accept the reality of immediate information availability and treat any adolescent searching or experience you find worrisome as an opportunity for discussion and education. Parents can help evaluate what a young person is being electronically told and be open to following wherever that curiosity leads. For example, “While it’s tempting to believe stories and follow advice you find on the internet, it’s best to evaluate them first. Understanding that every site has an agenda to influence your thinking or actions, ask yourself: Why would anyone want to post this information? What am I being asked to believe? What response is wanted from me, and why?”
父母该怎么办？首先，接受即时信息容易获得的现实，并将任何你觉得令人担忧的青春期搜索或经历视为讨论和教育的机会。父母可以帮助评估孩子被电子信息告知的内容，并对这种好奇心的引导持开放态度。例如，“虽然人们很容易相信故事并遵循你在互联网上找到的建议，但最好先对它们进行评估。了解到每个网站都有影响你思考或行动的议程，问问自己：为什么有人想发布这些信息？我被要求相信什么？它们希望我做出什么回应，为什么？”
If you discover that your adolescent is watching something you disapprove of, such as pornography, on their computer, take a step back first to assess your emotional response. If you feel shocked, horrified, disgusted, or furious, remember this one simple rule: Calm before communication. Take a break. Take a breath. Take yourself to a quiet place. Maybe talk first to a friend. Remind yourself what you love about your child. And take time to prepare to listen, learn, and talk. If you let your fears rule, your upset is liable to detract from this opportunity to educate: If you make your feeling offended the focus of your communication, then, instead of finding out what your child experienced or learned, you’ll shut them down.
如果你发现你的孩子在他们的电脑上看一些你不赞成的东西，比如色情作品，那就先退后一步，评估一下你的情绪反应。如果你感到震惊、恐惧、厌恶或愤怒，请记住一条简单的规则：沟通前保持冷静。休息一下。喘口气带自己去一个安静的地方。也许先和朋友谈谈。提醒自己你爱孩子的地方。花点时间准备倾听、学习和交谈。如果你让恐惧占据主导地位，你的沮丧情绪很可能会影响你的教育机会：如果你让自己的感觉受到冒犯成为沟通的焦点，那么，你会让他们闭嘴，而不是去了解你的孩子经历或学到了什么。